**Warning: Today’s post is a little more serious in nature. So, if you’re hoping for a light, easy read, I might go check out THIS instead or watch THIS video of a cat playing the piano. ‘Cause I want to delve into a subject that’s touchy but important.**
Jealousy. Man, even typing that word makes me nervous. This is a touchy word and one that bristles the hair on most people’s neck. But for women (especially women in the fitness world) this is something that you’re, unfortunately, going to face.
Let me tell you a story. I remember about eight years ago, I met a friend’s wife for the very first time. When she got out of the car, she was tall, skinny and gorgeous. And, my first reaction was immediately, “I hate her.” How awful is that? She hadn’t even opened her mouth yet, but I was already judging her and making the decision that I hated her. (Side note: she’s actually quite fantastic.)
It’s unfortunate, but a lot of women’s nature is to immediately hate other women that they see as a “threat” (whether that’s prettier, skinnier, funnier, smarter, wealthier, you get the idea….) I’m sure this jealousy is something innate and in our DNA. It probably dates back to the caveman days so that Cavewoman Jane can find a mate and reproduce. But, nonetheless, it’s awful.
In my situation, I made an immediate decision based on jealousy. She was taller, skinnier and prettier than I was, and I found that threatening. Had I let that snap judgement get in the way, I would’ve missed out on getting to know an incredibly sweet girl.
I made a conscious decision right then and there that I would not let myself make immediate judgments about women that were based solely on jealousy. That may not seem like a big statement to you, but this was a life-changing revelation for me.
Now, I’d love to say that I’ve totally reformed and that I never have snap judgments based on jealousy anymore, but that’s about as true as saying I’ve never eaten a whole box of Girl Scout cookies (c’mon Thin Mints, why are you so good??) But, when that jealous monster rears its ugly little head for me, I follow these three steps:
Acknowledge It: Admit that the reason I immediately dislike someone is simply due to jealousy. Now, this is hard, guys. It’s a big, fat piece of humble pie that’s not particularly easy to swallow. But putting a name to your feeling is an important piece of overcoming it.
Actively Put The Jealousy Aside: You’ll have to work at this. Set the jealousy aside and rid your mind of it so it doesn’t continue to taint your image of the person. Don’t let it keep creeping back in and clouding your judgement.
Move On: Get to know the person without your initial reaction. Make an informed decision that’s not biased on looks, self-comparison or jealousy. Kick out your preconceived notions and really get to know the other person.
Let me boil this down for you guys: Don’t make snap judgments based on jealousy. If you feel it happening – acknowledge it, put it aside, then move on. You’ll miss out on getting to know a lot of awesome people if you don’t.
So, go ahead – meet new, strong women, build friendships, create inside jokes….because that, ladies, is something we should all be jealous of.